Ima, What did I just step in? Ima?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

They just left...

NJD came by with the boys on his way home from the game. Pro sports are not my thing, but I had to listen as youngboy and teenboy told me about the game. Even though I hate (Is hate strong enough a word. Think Hatfield McCoy kind of dislike for anything involving a ball) sports, the step family message board suggested pretending to be interested in things the kids say.

NJD just smiled and rolled his eyes as they talked. God, how I love that man.

Things went as planned with younggirl and teengirl. We had pizza and fries, ate with our hands, and did not let younggirl sit on my white couch until after she washed her hands.

Then, while younggirl watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, teengirl and I went up to my closet. We are about the same size, and I have some nice slacks I don’t wear any longer. Nothing too revealing, and what better way to get in good with her than to give her a few pairs of pants.

So I gave her a few pairs that I never wear any more, which she loved and gave me a huge hug (I am really getting used to this. I hope it never stops.)

After she tried on the pants, and they fit, teengirl started to open up to me. About how she felt about her parents divorce, and the waterworks began. Lots of crying from both of us. But in the end, it made us really feel a lot closer :)

I also gave her a few pairs of earrings I never wear anymore, for her newly pierced ears. I guess I made a decision. I didn’t want to get involved between teengirl and her mother, so I didn’t go to the ear piercing at the mall. But now, as I am getting closer to her, I am giving her pants and earrings, and that will put me between teengirl and her mother. And I decided I don’t care what NJDs Ex thinks anymore :)

NJD called me about an hour after he got home and told me that the girls had a really great time with me, and maybe we should do something where I spend more time with the boys. But I don’t know. Boys are so not easy to connect with like girls are. But we’ll see.

The kids are coming over to my place…

Not all of them. Just teengirl and younggirl. NJD is taking the boys to a ballgame, but I can’t tell you which team they like, that would cut the anonymity thing really close, and I offered to have teengirl and younggirl come hang out with me. At my apartment.


What was I thinking. I have had this fantasy or fear, that the girls would come over for some special bonding time. I would show younggirl my Nancy Drew collection; I’d share my half written novel with teengirl. (I told you I was a writer a long time ago, see I used a semicolon again, which proves it.) Maybe we would rent a movie, and have some dinner. And then, as younggirl watched TV and fell asleep on the couch, I would take teengirl into my closet for a wardrobe update.

In my fantasy, there is no NJD Ex-wife to complain that her daughter is being exposed to my pants. Not my undies, you silly brits, just pants. Pants, pants pants. My clothing is tznius-lite. Short skirts, short sleeves, but high necklines.

But during the whole divorce drama that lasted two extra years, NJDs Ex tried to write in the settlement (ok no lashon hara, no lashon hara nlh nlh nlh) let’s just say, some conditions about the types of clothing her daughter could wear when NJD had custody. And technically, even with teengirl at my house, he is still the custodial parent. But I have some pants that would look great on teengirl, and since we missed our chance to bond when she had her ears pierced, maybe if I gave her some nice (not tight) pants, we could really connect.

I have the perfect outfit picked out for when the girls come over. A pink Old Navy sweatshirt and red sweatpants :). I just want to sit with them and maybe we’ll order food they can eat with their hands, since they have no table manners anyway, and we’ll just do some female bonding.

But with the Ex still involve in their lives, maybe I should hold off on the whole introducing her to my closet thing.